AnodEr yEar, anOdEr beginNing, anOdEr lifE to livE and to enjOy….:) Hapi New yEar tO alL….:)
I dOn’t knOw hOw lOng ivE beEn toO harshEd toO mysElf…
How lOng ivE beEn bliNd and painstakiNgly loviNg hiM…
All dis tyM ivE beEn drEamiNg of sOmethiNg bEtweEn us…
EveN thOugh thEre was really NO US…
Its really harD to accEpt that bitTer trutH…
I wantEd to dEny it and pUsh thrOugh my habit Of drEamiNg…
But GOD stiLL lOvEs me…
OnE mOrning I wOke up witH sucH enErgy…
I had a goOd drEam i knOw, thoUgh I cant really remember it, I can feEl it…
I remembEr hOw a smilE fOrmEd in my lips and hOw I had prayEd and givE thanks for that lOvely mOrniNg…
IvE decidEd to unlOad heavy baggagEs that ivE beEn carryiNg for quitE somEtimE…
To rEleasE thOse thiNgs that alrEady startiNg tO makE me wEak and cOwarD…
To rEleasE thOse memoriEs that startiNg to altEr my dispOsitioN in lifE…
Im Only startiNg and I knOw it woUldnt be as easy as erasiNg thE wrOng nOtEs ivE takEn dowN yet I caN alrEady feEl thE reliEf…
I caN feEl littlE pEacE in my OwN wOrld…
I caN alrEady fEel my hEarbeat tHat oncE I thOught was goNe and buriEd witH hiM…
It makEs mE realizEd hOw ivE beEn damnEd stupid fOr cryiNg thE whOle nigHt becausE of hiM and wakiNg up and prEteNdiNg as if nOthiNg happenEd…
PrEtEndiNg im vEry happy and cOntEntEd becaUse of my indEpendEnCe and cOntroL ovEr mysElf…
TryiNg to shOw to evErybody thaT iM OK…
PrEteNdiNg iM glAd becausE im d OnE contrOlliNg my frEedoM, but dEep insidE mE i wanNa cry and shOw my vulnerabiLity, i waNtEd to show thaT iM hurt and I waNtEd sumOne, I wantEd hiM to bE wiD mE…
But tHat was lOng OvEr and tHat madE me realiZed and prOvEd onE tHing…
Im strOng becausE ivE managEd to facE thE wOrld alOne, withOut somEonE to sharE my fearS and weaknessEs aside frOm my famiLy…
I knOw i cant takE back thOse timEs I havE wastEd drEamIng and prEtendiNg, but at lEast ivE alrEady LEARNED and was able tO ACCEPT thiNgs…
Now I am ablE to smiLe and lOok ahEad witH grEat optimism…
Its nOt my lOss if hE caNt sEe d beaUty in mE…
I thiNk its a vEry goOd New yEars resolUtiOn…
WelL, thEres notHing mOrE I can say…
Happy NeW Year and I wish we alL havE a goOd yEar tO comE…
No mOrE nEgatiVe thOughts and whatsOevEr…
God BlEss Us alL….:)
